In the animal kingdom, it’s the aggressive Alpha male of the pack that entices females in heat for procreation purposes. In other words, the rest of the males just don’t get any. Among humans, however, things have become a little more complex since the Neanderthal era, despite romantic fiction convincing readers that Alpha heroes reflect women’s ideals. In recent mass-market fiction, even Alpha heroes are required to develop modern-day Beta characteristics, like heightened sensitivity and emotions, thanks to the influence of the female heroine in the novel who ‘tames’ her man. But it isn’t always the case in the real world, such as in the case of a high powered modern woman who doesn’t need ‘rescuing.’ For her, Prince Charming may very well appear in the form of a relaxed Gamma, prepared to take the back seat or even be a stay-at-home dad in her castle. Are women and men necessarily as different as Venus and Mars? Not necessarily; according to popular classifications based on the Greek alphabet, we have more in common with our corresponding personality types in the opposite sex than we do with other categories within our own gender! However, men and women from the same categories often clash in relationships because they are too similar; for instance, two alphas may make a great match, but there’s also a power-struggle going on—a war waiting to happen. Similarly, opposite personality types are often strongly attracted to each other’s differences, whose personalities may conflict once the honeymoon period is over for ‘irreconcilable differences’ (the most commonly cited reason for divorce among celebrities). Realistically, most people fall under hybrids of two or more categories, which further divide into various other classifications (it’s enough to fill an encyclopaedia but this is just a blog entry so we won’t go there). Personality types can also change over the course of one’s life: a man could start out as a high powered Alpha athlete, executive or politician and end up a depressed, unemployed Omega later in life. Interested? Read on and share your own theories in the comment area below. Type Alpha:  Self assured, enterprising, outgoing. Alpha Male Also referred to as a ‘bad boy’ or ‘leader of the pack,’ this confident, aggressive, macho guy may be self centred, sexist, demanding and difficult to work with despite possessing charisma both in his personal life and at work. He can be attractive without having to be good-looking and usually has his pick of women to date or marry. Although he enjoys being chased, he finds it refreshing to be the one to do the chasing (i.e. hunting). Enterprising and outgoing, his pre-marital relationships tend to be very brief. Women do not get much comfort or support from a typical Alpha male; and the women who cheat on their non-Alpha partners usually do so by having affairs with Alpha men, like James Bond. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iwl33WbVGI]] Alpha Female Alpha females abound in any Angelina Jolie movie (her kick-ass characters and her bad-ass self). A super confident female who doesn’t appear to need men, Alpha women are the queen bees of their cliques, whether in social groups, school or college. They easily dominate other women and can be aggressive, bossy, and sarcastic in their competitive, high-powered careers, including political (Margaret Thatcher, Benazir Bhutto). They are usually sexy even when they aren’t conventionally beautiful, and don’t get intimidated around men. They may lack sensitivity and sympathy towards others and aren’t scared of making the first move when it comes to their romantic interests. They normally get what they want: even other Alpha males rarely reject them. Alpha women are thought to have cold, controlling personalities that aren’t very nurturing or relaxed. Type Beta: Moderate, reserved, and collaborative Beta Male Betas are reserved, responsible and moderate: your average Mr Nice Guy, nothing spectacular but likeable enough. Most modern men are Betas; they’re more sensitive, less aggressive, and better read than Alphas. They are easily nervous or embarrassed and play wingmen to their more suave Alpha friends. Betas make good friends and roommates, as they’re considerate and somewhat idealistic. Beta men are the least threatened by women who are more powerful or intelligent than them. A Beta man tends to be introvertive and kind of nerdy while growing up. Thoughtful by nature, women may consciously choose Beta men as better husband material, especially if they’ve been hurt by Alphas. However, they usually like Beta men as friends rather than fall in love with them. Beta Female Beta women make great BFFs.  They’re usually the imperfect Bridget Jones type characters we root for in movies. Beta women tend to be passive aggressive and can get annoyingly obsessed with their crushes. They are nurturing, insecure about their looks, and want to be pursued by the guys they like. If this doesn’t happen, they are nervous about competing with other women and often end up lonely or with their second or third choice in a mate. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQdy98B1nf0]] Type Omega: Neurotic, laid Back, eccentric Omega Male In popular culture, Omega men feature mainly in comedy movies like the overweight, unemployed video gamer in Knocked Up, the dork who literally seduced an American Pie, and most Ben Stiller movies. An Omega guy has nerdy habits, like collecting comic books or being a Trekkie, and lives blissfully in his own world. He is immature, irresponsible, lacks ambition and is easily picked on. In high school movies, he always lusts after an Alpha female and ends up getting her (they’re movies after all), only to reject her for his Beta best friend whom he hadn’t previously noticed. Among a group, the Omega guy is the least likely to take an initiative and is generally the lowest on the chain of command. Exaggerated metrosexuals and effete intellectuals may be Omegas too. Women generally find Omegas unattractive. As husbands, they are often happily reliant on their wife’s incomes and don’t help much around the house either. Omega Female The lead characters from the movies Bridemaids, Welcome to the Dollhouse and She’s All That (before the makeover) are all Omegas. They tend to be lazy, untidy, unattractive, have low self esteem, have dismal personal lives and are unambitious and unsuccessful in their careers. They could really benefit from a makeover in terms of style as well as life coaching skills and deserve sympathy. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JwJtq40-Wk]] Type Gamma: Restless, adventurous, fun Gamma Male and Female Adventurous, restless, fun-loving Gammas like to do their own thing and create their own rules without giving in to peer pressure. Alphas may mature into Gammas and become more considerate, socially conscious and relatively diplomatic than before. Gammas are aware of their needs and natures as well as those of the opposite sex. They demonstrate quintessentially feminine behaviors, values and expectations to win their partners’ trust and love. Gammas generally appear to lack assertiveness, freely demonstrate their emotions and aren’t very interested in status symbols and attaining popularity. They tend to put their family and community before their own ambitions. On TV, many characters from comedies like the Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation and Glee are obvious Gamma types. Type Delta: Aloof, marginalised, resentful Delta Male & Female Deltas are withdrawn, private, and to some extent, disaffected. Deltas are often ‘has beens’ who were confident, successful, popular Alphas in their youth. The lowest rung in the hierarchy of personalities, Deltas tend to be subordinates who are ostracized by society. Type Sigma: Sardonic, outsiders, baffling Sigma Male & Female Sigmas are outsiders to the social game, yet manage to win at it anyhow, confusing everyone else in the process. They are also adept at socially challenging and ridiculing Alphas, to their infuriation. Sigmas tend to be contemptuous towards the opposite sex, even if they desire them.

One can finally sense that the tide is turning and Imran Khan is being taken seriously as a political contender.  It can be seen at dinner conversations, where our liberal elite are no longer taking every opportunity to ridicule his minor inconsistencies and misdemeanours or in how his party workers are slowly becoming more recognizable on television. His rallies are now being attended in the tens of thousands rather than by a few faithful hundred and it is the convergence of such elements that is propelling him towards the main stage of our nation’s politics.  It is through this growing momentum that Imran Khan’s prospects are rapidly changing. In an environment of political ambivalence and mixed messages from our current leadership, Imran Khan has managed to stay on message and consistent with regards to the established institutional players in Pakistani politics. For simplicity, we will look at the two most prominent institutional players in Pakistani politics, the United States of America and the military. Besides the usual rhetoric against America that every politician in our country uses when in opposition, the only serious contention that Imran Khan has had with America has been over Afghanistan. With the endgame approaching, America is looking for creative ideas to bring the Taliban in the political mainstream. Luckily for them, Imran Khan has been consistently advocating for a peaceful political settlement with the Taliban having to his credit predicted that it would come to this. A survey earlier this year showed him to be the most popular leader in the Pakistani tribal areas. Imran Khan is not inherently an army basher, he hasn’t vocally proposed military budget cuts or accountability, nor has he differed over India with the army. Also, he doesn’t condemn those militant elements that our army harbours for its skirmishes in Kashmir and Afghanistan. While this may make Imran Khan a popular choice for the army to support, there is no historical precedent that shows that the ISI can act on its own, without the approval of the President or the Prime Minister to rig an election. The popular belief is that since Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto was elected all elections have been rigged with the approval and cooperation of a sitting Prime Minister or President. The most prominent support to Imran Khan has come from the media. The sympathy and leniency that is showered on him by key anchors is indicative of their support. One can claim that his over-representation in the electronic media is due to his celebrity status that gets channels more ratings. However, there is a degree of tacit approval that anchors have for Imran Khan which seemingly steams from their harbouring of a similar nationalistic ideology to him. Lastly, and pessimistically, Imran Khan benefits from the process of elimination as the vacuum for national leadership continues to grow. In this environment, the ability to inspire is the single most important (and lacking) quality, the presence of which could potentially sway people away from the status quo towards a different point of view. Can such motivation be expected from the likes of Nawaz Sharif, Asif Ali Zardari or Altaf Hussian? What alternatives are there? The vacuum for national leadership has only expanded. Imran Khan has to step up his game now, the window is open, the stars aligned and the timing perfect for an all out political blitzkrieg.

The Oscars are a time when fans, TV anchors, stylists, live bloggers, tweeters and seat-fillers (the lucky people who sit on celeb’s seats while they’re visiting the bathroom or the bar) satellite around A-list stars in the celluloid constellation known as Hollywood. Die-hard viewers host Oscar parties at home while Hollywood’s B, C and D-listers try to attend as many after-parties as they can (since they’re naturally not invited to most awards shows). It’s fun for all, whether you’re watching the show live at the crack of dawn in Pakistan’s time zone (and heading off bleary-eyed to work), or watching the evening re-run (after spending the day valiantly avoiding internet reports of the winner). The allure of red carpet arrivals, glamorous presenters, the host’s semi-funny jokes, and, of course, watching some of your favourites win the coveted statuettes is an irresistible combination worth spending three hours of your life over (five if you sit through the early arrivals and after-party coverage too, comparable to a cricket match). Often, a country or culture will dominate several categories during any given year of the Academy Awards. Previously, these have included: the New Zealander ‘Lord Of The Rings’ year, the Indian ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ (even if it was officially British) year, the Italian ‘Life is Beautiful’ year, the Spanish ‘Talk To Her’ year and the essentially British ‘The King’s Speech’ last year. This year, it seems to be France’s turn. ‘The Artist’ has been nominated in 11 major categories except, interestingly, for Foreign Language film. Then there’s the usual shock nominees (Jonah Hill for ‘Moneyball’ seriously?), plenty of snubs (see below), and, finally, Pakistani subject matter that has nothing to do with terrorism (unless one calls it domestic terrorism). While ‘Saving Face’ may be criticised locally for portraying the country in a ‘negative’ light (tragically faceless survivors instead of, say, attractive starlets), one can’t help but support the need to address (and remedy) our social realities instead of sweeping them under a rug.   Nominations, predictions and what-the-heck-were-they-thinking Actor in a leading role Demián Bichir in "A Better Life" George Clooney in "The Descendants" (possibly - George plays a dumpy, cuckolded husband with a teenaged daughter; now that's acting) Jean Dujardin in "The Artist" (probably -  Jean brings back Old Hollywood glamour with sparkle) Gary Oldman in "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Brad Pitt in "Moneyball" (no way in hell - Brad would’ve stood a better chance if he made himself fugly in the film) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiAHlZVgXjk]]   Actor in a supporting role Kenneth Branagh in "My Week with Marilyn" (possibly - the Academy loves Brits) Jonah Hill in "Moneyball" (no way in hell, right?) Nick Nolte in "Warrior" Christopher Plummer in "Beginners" (probably - older actors tend to win their first Oscar for their entire careers) Max von Sydow in "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDpBs6kheKg]]   Actress in a leading role Glenn Close in "Albert Nobbs" Viola Davis in "The Help" Rooney Mara in "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (no way in hell -  Rooney’s too much of an indie oddball type) Meryl Streep in "The Iron Lady" (probably - you can’t go wrong with Mery; she already has two little gold men and this is her 17^th nomination) Michelle Williams in "My Week with Marilyn" (possibly -  the Academy loves biopics and we still feel bad about Heath Ledger) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_tbnTM7zVE]]   Actress in a supporting role Bérénice Bejo in "The Artist" Jessica Chastain in "The Help" (possibly -  a goodhearted airhead and one of the only non-racist characters in the movie) Melissa McCarthy in "Bridesmaids" (no way in hell - plus-sized women tend to score at awards shows but, really, to win for a screwball comedy rife with toilet humour…these aren’t the ‘Gross’cars!) Janet McTeer in "Albert Nobbs" Octavia Spencer in "The Help" (probably) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbuKgzgeUIU]]   Animated feature film "A Cat in Paris" Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli (probably -  it seems to be France’s year after all) "Chico & Rita" Fernando Trueba and Javier Mariscal "Kung Fu Panda 2" Jennifer Yuh Nelson "Puss in Boots" Chris Miller "Rango" Gore Verbinski (possibly - it’s Johnny Depp’s voice) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-OOfW6wWyQ]]   Art direction "The Artist" Production design: Laurence Bennett Set decoration: Robert Gould (possibly -  the mise-en-scene is delightful) "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" Production design: Stuart Craig Set decoration: Stephenie McMillan "Hugo" Production design: Dante Ferretti Set decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo (probably - a great deal of artistry went into the technicalities) "Midnight in Paris" Production design: Anne Seibel Set decoration: Hélène Dubreuil "War Horse" Production design: Rick Carter Set decoration: Lee Sandales [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_kDb-pRCds]]   Cinematography "The Artist" Guillaume Schiffman "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Jeff Cronenweth "Hugo" Robert Richardson "The Tree of Life" Emmanuel Lubezki (possibly - plenty of dreamy imagery in Terence Malick’s film) "War Horse" Janusz Kaminski (probably - Spielberg’s cinematic tear-jerker in with a war backdrop guarantees pictorial splendour) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRf3SfeMRD4]]   Costume design "Anonymous" Lisy Christl "The Artist" Mark Bridges "Hugo" Sandy Powell "Jane Eyre" Michael O'Connor (possibly - Hollywood loves adaptations, remakes and Victorian England) "W.E." Arianne Phillips (probably - for Madonna’s sake!) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8J6Cjn06kA]]   Directing "The Artist" Michel Hazanavicius (probably - creating a silent, pre-‘Talkie’ world was no easy task) "The Descendants" Alexander Payne (possibly - tricky subject matter to direct) "Hugo" Martin Scorsese "Midnight in Paris" Woody Allen "The Tree of Life" Terrence Malick [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXRYA1dxP_0]]   Documentary (feature) "Hell and Back Again" 
 Danfung Dennis and Mike Lerner "If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front" 
Marshall Curry and Sam Cullman "Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory" Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky "Pina" 
Wim Wenders and Gian-Piero Ringel (probably -  it’s also the first 3-D documentary to be nominated) "Undefeated" TJ Martin, Dan Lindsay and Richard Middlemas [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lnc-MC_Ao8]]   Documentary (short subject) "The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement" Robin Fryday and Gail Dolgin "God Is the Bigger Elvis" Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson "Incident in New Baghdad" 
 James Spione "Saving Face" Daniel Junge and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy (we hope so!) "The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom" 
Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU50cuiaMgU]]   Film editing "The Artist" Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius "The Descendants" Kevin Tent "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall (probably - it’s has that rare combination of a fast pace and critical acclaim, so it’s likely to win something) "Hugo" Thelma Schoonmaker "Moneyball" Christopher Tellefsen [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR-kP-olcpM]]   Foreign language film "Bullhead" Belgium "Footnote" Israel "In Darkness" Poland "Monsieur Lazhar" Canada "A Separation" Iran (probably - this Golden Globe winner is also Iran’s second nomination in this category to date) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjTkXGRhy9w]]   Makeup "Albert Nobbs" 
Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W Mungle (possibly - Glenn Close as a creepy dude required subtle makeup) "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" Nick Dudman, Amanda Knight and Lisa Tomblin "The Iron Lady" 
 Mark Coulier and J Roy Helland (probably - Meryl Streep’s convincing makeover as Maggie Thatcher owed something to the makeup department) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdWt28i63lY&feature=fvst]]   Music (original score) "The Adventures of Tintin" John Williams "The Artist" Ludovic Bource (probably - it’s a mostly silent film so music played a primary role in the narrative) "Hugo" Howard Shore "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Alberto Iglesias "War Horse" John Williams [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aco15ScXCwA]]   Music (original song) "Man or Muppet" From "The Muppets"
 music and lyrics by Bret McKenzie (probably - and with two nominations in this category instead of the typical five, the Oscars might even end on time for once with fewer musical performances) "Real in Rio" From "Rio" 
music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown and lyrics by Siedah Garrett [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7Uo-4iwdaI]]   Best picture "The Artist" Thomas Langmann, Producer (probably) "The Descendants" Jim Burke, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, producers (possibly) "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" Scott Rudin, Ppoducer "The Help" Brunson Green, Chris Columbus and Michael Barnathan, producers "Hugo" Graham King and Martin Scorsese, producers (possibly) "Midnight in Paris" Letty Aronson and Stephen Tenenbaum, producers "Moneyball" Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz and Brad Pitt, producers "The Tree of Life" Nominees to be determined "War Horse" Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, Producers (their 7^th nomination as producers) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atLg2wQQxvU]]   Short film (animated) "Dimanche/Sunday" Patrick Doyon "The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore" William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg "La Luna" Enrico Casarosa "A Morning Stroll" Grant Orchard and Sue Goffe "Wild Life" Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmNdoeU5lq0]]   Short film (live action) "Pentecost" Peter McDonald and Eimear O'Kane "Raju" Max Zähle and Stefan Gieren "The Shore" Terry George and Oorlagh George "Time Freak" Andrew Bowler and Gigi Causey "Tuba Atlantic" Hallvar Witzø   Sound editing "Drive" Lon Bender and Victor Ray Ennis "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Ren Klyce "Hugo" Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl "War Horse" Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom (probably - it’s gotta win something)   Sound mixing "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Bo Persson "Hugo" Tom Fleischman and John Midgley "Moneyball" Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, Dave Giammarco and Ed Novick "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" 
Greg P Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Peter J Devlin (probably - high-grossing action flicks often get lucky in sound categories) "War Horse" 
Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson and Stuart Wilson   Visual effects "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler and John Richardson (possibly - if only to say goodbye to Potter) "Hugo" 
 Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning (probably - the films has astounding aesthetics) "Real Steel" 
Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor and Swen Gillberg "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" 
 Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R Christopher White and Daniel Barrett "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler and John Frazier [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbCoDf44oCE]]   Writing (adapted screenplay) "The Descendants" Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon and Jim Rash (probably - the film’s premise and storyline are a critical success) "Hugo" Screenplay by John Logan "The Ides of March" Screenplay by George Clooney and Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon (possibly - Clooney proves to be as adept a writer as he is an actor and director) "Moneyball" Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin Story by Stan Chervin "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" Screenplay by Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan   Writing (original screenplay) "The Artist" Written by Michel Hazanavicius (probably -it’s an original, and it’s definitely tricky to ‘write’ a ‘silent’ script) "Bridesmaids" Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig (no way in hell! Right?) "Margin Call" Written by J.C. Chandor "Midnight in Paris" Written by Woody Allen "A Separation" Written by Asghar Farhadi (possibly -it’s the first Farsi screenplay to ever be nominated)   And the year’s biggest snubs went to… Leading men:

• Leo di Caprio (snubbed, yet again, but he’s used to it now. After three nominations, he still hasn’t taken home a little gold man, just models)
• Michael Fassbender (was his full frontal nudity in ‘Shame’ too much for the Academy to endure?)
• Ryan Gosling (aka ‘the hipster’s hipster’ for ‘The Ides of March’ and ‘Drive’)
• Antonio Banderas (for ‘Puss in Boots’…joking! For his performance in ‘The Skin I Live In’)

• Kristen Dunst (she won Best Actress at Cannes for her morose sci-fi film, ‘Melancholia’)
• Elizabeth Olsen (indie darling and breakout star of ‘Martha Macy May’ and sister of the most annoying twins in the world)
• Charlize Theron, Kate Winslet, Natalie Portman, Tilda Swinton and Hilary Swank (for…well, anything they ever star in, especially if their characters are depraved, unattractive and/or insane. Jilted by the Academy this time!)

• Uggie (for his convincing canine portrayal in ‘The Artist’…just kidding!)

• ‘W.E.’ looks visually arresting but there are way too many liberties taken with reality to lure the Academy (Wallis wasn’t a Nazi sympathiser? Really?). But the film stands a good chance in its sole nomination, for Costume Design.

• The Academy didn’t nominate Angie’s Bosnian ‘In The Land of Blood and Honey’ in the Foreign Language category. Never mind, she’ll still be smiling on Brad’s arm after winning the Stanley Kramer Award at the recent PGAs.

• Touching tweet (she’s nominated for Documentary—Short Subject):

• Euphoric tweet (the ‘How I Met Your Mother’ TV star’s song for ‘The Muppets’ is nominated for Music—Original Song):

• Sore (no music nomination for R&B singer Mary J. Blige’s song from ‘The Help’):

• Sarcastic (no acting nomination for Albert Brooks’ critically acclaimed ‘Drive’):

• Nominations ballots were mailed to the 5,783 voting members in late December and were returned directly to PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC), the international accounting firm, for tabulation.
• Official screenings of all motion pictures with one or more nominations will begin for members this weekend at the Academy's Samuel Goldwyn Theater. Screenings also will be held at the Academy's Linwood Dunn Theater in Hollywood and in London, New York and the San Francisco Bay Area.
• All active and life members of the Academy are eligible to select the winners in all categories, although in five of them – Animated Short Film, Live Action Short Film, Documentary Feature, Documentary Short Subject and Foreign Language Film – members can vote only if they have seen all of the nominated films in those categories.
• Academy Awards for outstanding film achievements of 2011 will be presented on Sunday, February 26, 2012, at the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center®, and televised live by the ABC Television Network beginning at 4 p.m. PT/7 p.m. ET (that’s 5 a.m. in Pakistan time on February 27).  The Oscar presentation also will be televised live in more than 225 countries worldwide.

They say you shouldn't redo a role that Amitabh Bachchan has done before. And if the role is the character of Vijay Deenanath Chauhan in Agneepath, then the only thing you should be redoing is mulling over your decision to replay it. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0KPQstwMQw]] Hrithik Roshan went through that process of thinking and then rethinking some more, and as a Bollywood fan, I am grateful that he decided to take up the challenge. He did justice to the character of an angry young man whose sole purpose in life is to avenge the death of his father; a vulnerable man who is a brother, a son and a lover. The three-hour-long film, with an overdose of melodrama and sometimes even violence, is not for those who don’t appreciate Bollywood for what it is: paisa wusool entertainment. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH8TpOLROOQ]] The great news is that the film does not waste precious minutes on songs that serve no purpose. Contrary to what most of us would have thought, nobody really bothered with Katrina Kaif’s horribly done item song Chikni Chameli. In fact, several people in the theatre murmured, “Can we get on with the film please?” as the song made an unfortunate entry at a point where the two main characters were meeting after 15 years. Even though it is difficult to ascertain what era the film is set in, it is appreciable nonetheless; a brilliant mesh of the 90s India – where beneath the surface, every hero was an angry young man who lived in a jhopar patti – and 2012 Bollywood cinema, which has progressed by leaps and bounds in terms of technology. While staying true to the 90s plot with minor additions such as Rishi Kapoor’s role as Rauf Lala, director Karan Malhotra and his team have exploited the almost unlimited resources that a mega producer like Karan Johar put at their disposal, making Agneepath a great viewing experience. The film belongs to Sanjay Dutt as much as it does to Roshan. Dutt, who had admittedly proven himself in negative (Khalnayak) and semi-negative (Vaastav) roles, is absolutely disgusting as Kancha, a man who hangs men to death as he pleases. Dutt manages to depict Kancha very well. For me, however, the real star of the film was Rishi Kapoor. Best known for soft roles like the chilled-out father (Hum Tum and Namastey London), he is surprisingly compelling as the repulsive villain who rules the Mumbai drug scene. Nowhere in the film does he appear the typical cuddly (and often tipsy) Rishi Kapoor - he is Rauf Lala and that is all. When he announced plans to remake Agneepath, producer Karan Johar had said he wanted to set the record straight since the film had under performed when his father made it in the 90s. Apart from achieving that success, Agneepath is the final answer for those who are still critical of the concept of remakes. Now that Indian filmmakers have proved that they are capable of re-imagining legendary roles like Vijay Deenanath Chauhan and Don, next on the cards should be a Sholay remake. I’m sure you’ll agree!   Read more by Zainab here. And follow her @zainabimam.

Demi Moore’s recent divorce from her younger husband, Ashton Kutcher, and subsequent trip to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction have been documented all too well in the tabloids. We read the headlines, and exclaim our shock and horror at Moore’s “pathetic” behavior. Unable to keep her much younger man,  losing the battle with Mother Nature, guilty for beginning to show her true age, Moore reportedly turned to substance abuse to keep her fledgling self-confidence afloat. We can balk as much as we want at Demi Moore’s troubles, but how long can they distract us from our own insecurities? With the deluge of bad press Demi has recently gotten it is easy to forget who this woman used to be, and I am sure somewhere deep inside, still is. Demi Moore was an icon in the 1980′s, an original member of the “Brat Pack” with movies such as St Elmo’s Fire, Ghost, A Few Good Men amongst countless others under her belt. She was also a trailblazer for women in Hollywood, breaking the film industry’s glass ceiling by becoming the first female actress to secure a $12 million paycheck, a salary once only paid to male actors. But apparently all that is irrelevant now, none of it matters anymore as Mooresits  in rehab in Utah with Brooke Mueller, the infamous ex-wife of Charlie Sheen known for her addiction to crack cocaine. Could this story get any sadder? When news of Moore’s troubles first broke, I found myself reading the news on my computer screen in shock and disbelief, but also in anger and guilt. “Look what we have done to this woman,” I thought to myself. We can all try to wash our hands of Demi’s demise, but we are all ultimately responsible for it. Every time we looked at a picture of her, or any other “ageing” actress and poked fun at her looking old, looking “tired” we fed the machine that makes us believe that somehow ageing is wrong. Moore is a product of our youth-obsessed culture which teaches women from when they are girls that we are valued by our beauty. We are taught to stay young and thin at any cost, and there is no other industry that consistently reinforces that message more than Hollywood. It is clear that we are all buying and believing this message. The fact of the matter is the film industry, in the US and around the world, have pitted women against Mother Nature. It’s an impossible battle to win and we all know it. But when women remind other women of that fact, like Demi Moore has, we blame and label them as failures, shower them with pity and disgust. We think they are “pathetic.” What makes it even easier for the public to “ooh” and “aah” over Demi Moore’s troubles is the added element of heartbreak from her divorce from Ashton Kutcher. This layer of rejection frames Moore as a failure, completely masking her once stellar and iconic career. What is even more depressing about this story is that when you look at pictures of Moore, her insecurities appear to be tangible, you can almost reach out and touch how badly Moore feels about herself. Her lack of confidence is palpable. Abandonment coupled with age in a town like Hollywood makes us feel sorry for Moore, but deep down we are actually terrified because we know what happened to her can happen to us. We are all equally vulnerable to our insecurities. Everyone of us fears rejection and heartbreak. We are all products of our society and that society is youth-obsessed. Demi Moore embodies that obsession. Can there be a worse place to grow old than in Hollywood where as a woman you can literally find yourself out of work because you had the audacity to age? The sad fact is as we grow older, women around the world, but especially those working in films, are told that they are worthless. How ridiculous and wrong is that? There are countless stories about how infatuated Moore was with youth, surrounding herself with young people, partying with her daughter, and hitting on teen heartthrobs such as Zac Efron. She was apparently obsessed with staying thin and before the actress’s now infamous 911 call, Moore’s weight had dropped to scarily unhealthy levels. At the age of 50, a woman should be comfortable in her skin, glowing in her life’s accomplishments. One look at Moore and you can tell she would rather be anywhere else but in her own body. I can only hope that Moore comes out of this with her honour and self- assurance in tact. She is Demi Moore! I still cannot believe we are feeling so sorry for the woman who once lit up the screens as a goddess in films like GI Jane, Disclosure, and of course, Ghost. Whether or not Demi survives this challenge in her life, the sad truth is that it will only be a matter of time before another actress falls to a similar fate. That is until we break the cycle, redefine what society tells us is beautiful, and embrace the fact that ageing is a fact of life. This post was originally published here.

“Meera denies abortion” read the headline in a story published in The News on April 10, 2012. Whereas this piece of news might have piqued the curiosity of many and gained many clicks and views, all I felt after reading this piece was pity and shame; I felt terribly ashamed of our media.  Have we stooped so low so as to humiliate and disclose details of someone’s personal life? Celebrity or not, reporting on someone's abortion, obviously meant to be kept secret, oversteps a line and is unethical to say the least. The article mentions how Meera was repeatedly phoned and hounded, after which she switched her cellphone off. This is blatant and unabashed harassment. While this form of aggression in gaining information to secure a news story might be considered acceptable in extreme circumstances, Meera getting an abortion does not meet that criteria. I am shocked that this piece of idle gossip even found space in one of the leading newspapers of our country. It is this simple: journalists have no business reporting on whether or not Meera had an abortion. I haven't studied journalism, but am still aware of the clause of ‘harm limitation’, which says that journalists are duty bound to show compassion and protect the reputation of those they are reporting about. Why have journalists in Pakistan forgotten how to do this? Does being a ’controversy queen’ mean that Meera must be followed, harassed and publicly shamed? It is reported in the story that Meera’s father-in-law was contacted, who disclosed that he was ‘shocked’ by the news. The story hints at the father of this baby being Meera’s fiancé’ Captain Naveed Pervaiz - the name Meera registered in the hospital under. Again, this is a cheap attempt at yellow journalism, aimed at encouraging gossip. The article claims that Meera and her father-in-law have a troubled relationship - a cheap shot at trying to ape Indian soaps and get people talking - adding needless spice to an article. If the term ‘trash sells’ holds any weight, this article is sure proof. It troubles me greatly to think what our aspiring journalists are learning by the example set by our media today. What has me really stumped is how The News even got access to this story. Doctor-patient confidentiality was clearly breached here, and the doctor in question should most definitely be stripped of her medical license. Law dictionaries define doctor-patient confidentiality as:

“Doctor-patient confidentiality is based upon the general principle that a person seeking medical help or advice should not be hindered or inhibited by fear that his or her medical concerns or conditions will be disclosed to others.”

With the advent of Twitter, getting to know people has become much easier. You don't have to send, approve or delete friendship requests; anyone has the liberty to follow anyone. However, as tempting as it may be, here's a list I've made of five kinds of guys you should either never follow on Twitter, or follow at your own risk! 1. The ‘every girl is beautiful’ guy: This guy’s bio and picture will tell you all you need to know about him. He thinks you’re beautiful. He would date you if he knew you. He has devoted his life to making women smile. Thus he has thousands of devoted female followers, who have obviously gained confidence because this seemingly attractive young man has put up a picture in which he holds a placard with ‘You’re Beautiful’ scribbled on it. Being the kind guy that he is, he will usually take time out of his very busy schedule and ask his adoring female fans to ask him questions to which he will graciously reply. It will be tough not to press that follow button, ladies, but if you do, it’ll only lead to unrequited love. 2. The pious guy: This guy will usually hail from a Western country. He has got ‘swag’ but, please, do not be deceived. He is very religious. He tweets about piety, love and forgiveness along with the occasional tweet about how he’s so amazing and needs the love of a good woman to complete him. He goes in overdrive during Ramazan telling everyone how he’s been praying and how they should follow suit. This guy also (surprise surprise!) has a lot of devoted female followers. Seems like girls today are starved for religious guys who also look like rappers. He will tell you how relationships are ‘haraam’ but that does not stop him from flirting with his female followers. Oh, the sacrifices he makes. 3. The self-proclaimed celebrity: Don’t be deceived by his bio. He really has nothing credible to his name, except maybe a few videos on YouTube of his idea of humour or of him belting out a song in the most audibly and visually disturbing of ways. Yet again, you will see hordes of girls vying for this young man’s attention, convinced that he’s the next big thing since sliced bread! 4. The guy who takes himself too seriously: Twitter is filled with these guys. In their eyes, no one is more original or can have such a radical opinion as them. They have an opinion about everything, from your mum’s biryani to the credibility of the state. They will butt into your tweets because they feel it’s their public obligation to correct everyone’s opinions to mirror their own, obviously far superior ones. 5. The ‘frandshipper’: This guy takes plain old ‘frandshipping’ to a whole new level! He will tweet to you and replying to him will be one of the biggest mistakes of your life, because, clearly, now he knows you’ve fallen for him. He knows his tweets were just right to make your heart melt and you replying only confirms it. Now he will direct message you till he either gets the message that you’re ignoring him or till you block him. Don’t be too hard on him, poor guy has just confused Twitter with ShaadiOnline.com. Follow Rameeza on Twitter @Rameezay  Join us on Facebook for blog updates and more!

So when exactly did the concept of philanthropy change and how come no one told me? I look at the good guys of the past and compare them to the so-called humanity lovers of today and I feel like an imbecile who hibernated her way to modernity. The definition of the word philanthropy has apparently been transformed, much to my surprise. As a baby, I was told by my mother that Buddha was the epitome of sacrifice because he gave up his Kingdom to find what people needed the most, Nirvana. Another figure, Mother Teresa, couldn’t keep more for herself than substandard white clothes and our famous or rather infamous messiah Gandhi, gave up the luxuries of life just to show he was one of the oppressed. Today, when our gorgeous, rich and famous Angelina Jolie, whose net worth in 2011 was $30 million, popped out of nowhere and launched her boat in the philanthropy river, everyone loved her for it. Also worth mentioning here is that Jolie was Hollywood’s highest-paid actress in 2009 and 2011, according to Forbes. Hence, she draws quite a contrast to the Mother Teresas and Gandhis of yesterday. As I write this piece, I already know that the men who still act like hormonal teenagers whenever Jolie makes an appearance in her thigh-high slits and women who treat her like their palpable Aphrodite will bombard me with criticism. But I can’t stop feeling that Jolie’s philanthropic streak is just a way for her to earn a few more years of limelight. I see news about her being “beautiful inside out” flood my Facebook page and I keep thinking that if celebrity charities are the in thing, why can’t our local ones get a pat on the back? If we have become open to celebrities donning the superhero or superheroine cape, then why do we call Veena Malik a dramaybaaz and hungry for publicity when she gladly volunteered to be the sponsor mother of an Indian girl? Wasn’t that philanthropy enough for us? If Veena’s risqué photo shoot and very charming fling with Ashmeet Patel is keeping her from becoming our contemporary superwoman, why isn’t anyone judging Jolie for stealing someone else’s husband? Read more by Taneeya here.

Shaista Wahidi, sometimes referred to as Dr Shaista or Shaista Lodhi is Sahir Lodhi’s sister. The brother-sister duo have a way of ruffling both the wrong feathers and the right ones; they can be called 'famous' or 'infamous'. Shaista is one of Pakistani television’s most known faces. People have loved her and have been irritated by her simultaneously, but have not been able to ignore her. We have talked about her antics, her typical laughter in which she covers her face with her hand, her metamorphosis in how her face looks and have broken her down multiple times. One of the most consistent faces on the mini screen, she disappeared for a few months, only to appear again on a promo the night before her re-venturing on Geo's morning show. While Shaista looked the same, perhaps a bit slimmer than usual (which has also been inviting speculation), something about her had changed. Skimming through channels, once I caught sight of her on this show, I couldn't change the channel. While it was very obviously a promo show meant to create hype of her return to the mega screen, parts were real – one could see a real person beneath the glamour. She was asked about what she did in this hiatus of a few months and she confessed to having re-discovered her faith and religion, of having started to enjoy her namaz. She said she had found what she took too long to discover. She was moved to tears, almost choking, as she shared how she had discovered realities of faith. An almost worried Ahsan Khan hosting the show called for a break. For those who still wondered, Shaista confirmed that she was no longer married to the father of her children. She said as to 'why' the marriage didn't last, this was her personal business but maintained that her children’s father is a “very good father” and that she didn’t intend on bad-mouthing him on TV. (Shaista with her children. PHOTO: PUBLICITY) And this is the point where this blog needed to be written. Here was a woman going through what was  very clearly a tough time in her life. She paid the price for being a celebrity and gracefully handled the questions, rather than pretending that this chapter never happened in her life. Yet, in a very typical voyeuristic pattern, while people devoured the air time and watched Shaista carefully on the show, social media in the following hours started showing comments in which everybody thought all she did was “a big drama”. Sadly, when it comes to celebrities, we are mind-readers, clairvoyants and know-it-alls. Being a woman and a mother, I know what a soft spot children hold in a parent's heart. I believe that people suggesting that Shaista was using her divorce and children to gain publicity was callous. Why do we assume the worst of celebrities, it baffles me. Others were upset as to why she talked about her divorce on television. "How low can these celebrities go for fame?” they were asking on social media. (Shaista Lodhi with her husband before they got divorced. PHOTO: SCREENSHOT) I am not trying to be the devil’s advocate, but simply in the spirit of empathy, I imagined what any woman would do in her situation. In a live television show, with live calls from the viewership, any and every kind of question can be asked. A media person in her position does not have the liberty of pretending that something never happened; she has to face what happened and be answerable even in the most intimate matters of her life. That must be tough. Ironically, one of the most difficult things for a woman to live up to is divorce in our society, and playing directly in to this statement was peoples' response on Shaista's divorce. On Shaista finding solace in God, there were crude prophecies that “Shaista will play her religion card in the upcoming Ramadan. It is a publicity gimmick!”. It is also not easy for people here to accept that one is drawn towards religion. A backlash starts, in which a person is placed under a microscope, in which perfection is expected. Celebrities who have begun to tilt towards religion have had a tough time in our society. Ironically, those very people who feel as though religious people are too judgmental are quick to judge those who as much as mention a connection with God. But for me the saddest part is how bitter and mistrusting we have become. Celebrity or not, we no longer take people at face value and assume negative intentions on the part of others. We call it realism. We call believing what people say naivety. This is surprising when we are all too willing to wipe a tear on listening to celebrities talk their hearts out on Oprah, but we seem to just scoff and mock when those closer to home do the same. Dr Shaista is not known to me and I am not particularly a fan of the woman, but she is a woman on a journey like all of us and has had some ups and downs in her life. It is not my place to decide whether her decisions were right or wrong, nor can I say with surety what is in her heart. All I can do is wish her the best of luck, and get on with my life. Shouldn't we all do the same? What will we achieve from ripping her dignity to shards? Read more by Farahnaz here or follow her on Twitter @FarahnazZahidi

The alleged suicide attempt of Michael Jackson’s daughter, Paris, has once again thrown the Jackson family into the spotlight (as if it didn’t have enough of it already). Reports suggest that Paris Jackson attempted suicide because she was not allowed to attend a Marilyn Manson concert. However, there are many underlying factors that could lead to such an incident - the  least of which was the concert. I believe it has more to do with the overzealous media attention and attacks on her privacy in the name of celebrity journalism. Anyway, Paris is safe in the hospital and her family is pleading for privacy. It is widely known that Michael Jackson had kept his children, Paris, Prince and Blanket, away from the glare of the camera to the best of his abilities. So much so that whenever Jackson and his kids went out, the children would put on masks. Through this measure Jackson wanted to shield them from the prying eyes of the media- that is until his untimely death. With their father dead, Paris, Prince and Blanket, the once elusive kids were thrust into public spotlight, with their every move covered by media. Paris Jackson had to bear the brunt of this increased public attention and it seems that she struggled to cope with it. Some reports suggest, this is not her first suicide attempt. She has obviously lead a troubled life. Being there when Michael Jackson was lying on the floor near-death after overdosing on medication pills; being a witness in a lawsuit against AEG Live (concert management company), reports of bullying at school and on Twitter, news reports on new molestation claims on her deceased father and constantly being under media spotlight, it’s a little wonder that she seems to have cracked under pressure. The media is needlessly creating hype over an issue that is very personal for the Jackson family - they want privacy, give them privacy. It is true that celebrities are public figures with huge responsibilities, because they have the power to influence their fans, but the way they are hounded by journalists and paparazzi all the time is un-called for. Celebrity or no celebrity, your private life is yours and media should understand this. The suicide attempt of Paris Jackson (coincidentally, weeks before Michael’s 4^th death anniversary) calls into question the role of the so called celebrity-news industry. Organizations like TMZ and legions of gossip columnists are doing nothing but indulging in useless celebrity chinwag, sharing their intimate photos, vigorously dissecting their interviews, tailing them every time they step out of their homes in hopes of getting much prized shots of celebrities or one of their family tripping on the road, having an altercation with a police officer or having wardrobe malfunctions. Is this the path where journalism is headed towards? No doubt people like the Kardashians or Amanda Bynes are revered in the celebrity journalism business because of their penchant to remain needlessly in the spotlight, but they clearly do not reflect the life styles of other stars. There are many stars who just don’t appreciate cameras following them to toilets, grocery stores or when they take their families out for picnics. Celebrity journalists have to take a breather and reflect on how their actions effect celebrities and their families. Another point that needs to be highlighted is that, celebrity-journalism is only catering to the demands of public who have a growing need to know everything about their stars. Jeremy King, editor of Media Week says:

“The incessant need of the public to know what every celebrity is doing is phenomenal”.

“Ironically, this same public are equally outraged when it comes to normal civilians having their private lives publicly played out.”

Hendon Cemetery, London NW7 on Holder’s Hill Road is a serene space with the usual poignancy and hush that accompanies cemeteries. There, tucked away among other graves is a simple tomb with a black headstone. “786”, the numerical translation of Bismillah is etched along with this touching epitaph:

“In the loving memory of Nazia Hassan. Loving daughter, sister and mother. Beloved and cherished by millions of people. Died in her youth, August 13, 2000.”

“She is about to die”, he said.

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, But to be young was very Heaven!

Wide sea, that one continuous murmur breeds Along the pebbled shore of memory!

 “She set - well ahead of its time - the personal album trend in India, spawning the likes of Alisha Chinai, Lucky Ali and Shweta Shetty,” it noted.

First, it was Half-Life 3. Next, it was Ben Affleck. Now, it is Miley Cyrus’ turn. Over the last few days, my social media feeds have exploded with news of Miley’s raunchy performance at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs), where she shed her ‘good girl’ Hannah Montana image by performing some overly sexual dance moves while dressed in skimpy clothing. Although official sources reported that parents - especially those whose children had grown up idolising the Disney star - had filed numerous complaints, the reactions on my Facebook were packed with hilarious memes parodying the young American female singer/actress. As I scrolled through Facebook, I noticed how mostly good natured the reactions were in comparison to similarly controversial celebrity behaviour in Pakistan. For example, when our own local divas, such as Veena Malik, Mathira, Meera or Kamran Akmal, are part of something controversial, our public has an angry meltdown, where it seems that the entire prestige of the nation lies with the said celebrity. This left me thinking (which is never a good thing), what if Miley Cyrus had been from Pakistan? In that situation, here is how I think the events would have unfolded: 1. Some outraged citizen, most probably unemployed and thus with a lot of time, would file a Supreme Court petition against the ‘shameful’ Jewish Pakistani agent, Miley Cyrus. Here, the judges would waste precious resources, calling upon experts to define the meaning of the word ‘twerking’, while Imran Khan would once again publicly debate the meaning of the word ‘shameful’. 2. Miley would defend herself by saying,

“The dancing was a little bold, but aesthetically shot.”

Remember that time you were sitting at a restaurant, having a conversation with a friend and you felt your mind drifting away? You start taking things around you in; the environment, the people. You start wondering what the woman next to you was thinking when she decided to wear that particular outfit or how the couple on your left must think they look great together, when they just don’t. There now, there is no need to pretend to be ‘holier than thou’, we’ve all done it. After years of careful observation, I decided to come up with a list of my own; a list of people I would like to see together this Valentine’s Day, a day when the air is filled with love (and hearts) and nothing can bring your spirits down because you know it’s all about love today – just you and that special someone. (Cheesy, I know) Since ‘I don’t want no drama from your mama’, I have picked a safe-bet and chosen celebrities from Hollywood, Bollywood and Lollywood to mix and match together. Here are eight of my favourite heartthrobs I would pair with gorgeous females that aren’t me: 1) Leonardo DiCaprio and Mahira Khan I don’t really think I need to elaborate on this one. They’re both great actors and from what I’ve been told by people who’ve met them (yes I know people who’ve met Leo) and from what I’ve read, they are ridiculously charming, modest and friendly. If Mahira can give Leo the chance, this couple is sure to melt the silver screen. 2) Ranbir Kapoor and Blake Lively Good looks galore! Even though I’m not really a big fan of Ranbir, unlike creepy stalkers who camp outside his house just so they can watch him enter and exit... for hours, I appreciate good looking men when the need calls for it. Blake with her fun, yet sultry presence and Ranbir with his charm and boy-next-door appeal, would definitely make quite an interesting couple. Let Kat go Ranbir, Lively is the way to go for you! 3) Sheheryar Munawar Siddiqui and Emilia Clarke Now now, don’t go grabbing your pitchforks yet. Emilia Clarke or commonly known as The Great Khaleesi from Game of Thrones (GOT), has been a fantasy for many men who are avid followers of the GOT. Hey, if I was a guy, I would totally go for her! With Sheheryar’s good looks, charm and fun personality coupled with her sex-appeal and desirability factor, this celebrity couple would make the boys and girls go loco. Both possess a real fire and passion for what they do, and I have no doubt that they would make a striking couple. 4) Ranvir Singh and Lady Gaga My masterpiece (sarcasm intended)! I will admit that Ranvir looked quite ‘hot’ in his recent movie Ram Leela and worked extremely hard to get that body but I’m sorry, when you’re going to cover it up with your atrocious dressing sense and commit fashion faux pas every now and then, it’s just unfair to our eyes. Making a statement is one thing but wearing ‘jazzy’ camouflage suits and chequered trousers with caramel hair is another. But I will say one thing, the guy has confidence to think he can pull it off and sometimes he does. Lady Gaga, on the other hand, has been known for her ‘edgy’ sense of style. From the cow meat dress to the Hannibal Lecter face cage, she has been on a roll when it comes to taking risks and making fashion disasters. Therefore, the commonality between these two is the absolute nonsense they wear ever so confidently, they might as well go out. I would advise audiences to guard their eyes this V-Day. 5) Ian Somerhalder and Syra Yousuf Syra can easily be one of the prettiest girls on TV screens right now. And well, Ian Somerhalder, need I say more? Those eyes, his deadly looks paired with her piping good looks and bubbly personality- this is one celebrity couple I myself would be happy to watch. I do admit though, the thought of this couple transpired purely because they would have some superbly good looking kids! 6) Fawad Khan and Deepika Padukone These are one of my favourites from Lollywood and Bollywood. Being a fan of Fawad from his EP days, I personally think he’s quite a looker. And Deepika with those legs and her envious dress sense has caught the eyes of many. It’s about time Deepika cuts loose her secret ‘edgy’ Ram Leela and goes for someone more her type. Your Ram awaits you in Pakistan, Leela! 7) Hamza Abbasi and Ainy Jafri Come on, it’s totally possible! Regardless of Hamza’s tad bit over-acting in Waar, one cannot deny that he is very cute and a good actor occasionally. Ainy has caught the eye of many with her recent appearances in serials and advertisements. Don’t be biased, just look at them; they definitely make a very pretty couple. 8) Ali Zafar and Nargis Fakhri I know many probably thought I would pair him with Katrina, but after the Mobilink commercial, featuring the two stars, I thought ‘hey, why not?’ He has the voice, good looks and charm, and Nargis, well she definitely has... umm... the lips. So there you have it, my list of celebrities I would have loved to see together this Valentine’s Day, dining away amidst candle light and floating lanterns. PS: Ryan Gosling has not been added to this list because I could not bear doing that to myself.

A crazy Ukrainian decided to make it his life’s mission to go parading from one Hollywood event to another, making a fool out of himself at the expense of our beloved celebrities. His latest whim consists of getting out of the fan gallery and jumping on Brad Pitt, allegedly to punch him. Yes, you read it right! This guy almost managed to punch one of the most handsome men on the planet. Brad Pitt, the American heartthrob, my childhood crush and the guy who has caused many accidents at the intersection of Punjab Colony with his face plastered across a huge billboard as brand ambassador for Tag Heuer - HE was almost punched in the face! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="640"] Photo: Reuters[/caption] [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: AFP[/caption] So it all went down in Los Angeles on May 29. The Ukrainian prankster who goes by the name of Vitalii Sediuk was one of the countless people standing behind the barrier to watch famous Hollywood celebrities attend the red carpet premiere of Maleficent. While Angelina Jolie and the rest of the gang signed autographs and took flawless pictures, Mr Sediuk managed to jump over the elevated barrier in an attempt to crash the red carpet at the celebrated El Capitan Theatre. He then ran towards Pitt, touched the actor briefly before the security guards came running to stop his failed attempt. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1xfyw9_brad-pitt-attacked-on-maleficent-red-carpet_people[/embed] Fortunately for us, nothing happened; he barely brushed against him before security intervened. I don’t even want to imagine what would’ve happened if his attempt was successful. The Achilles of Troy’s Greek God face, his million dollar smile and those mesmerising blue eyes; God forbid something should happen to that face. If you think this was a one-time thing, think again! Sediuk is known as the most notorious prankster in Hollywood for a reason. This is a list of his hilarious pranks: 1. Can I take a picture with you, while I poke under your dress? Earlier this month, the prankster caused quite a stir at the prestigious 2014 Cannes Film Festival. This recent gag was so absurd that it almost makes me laugh while I write this. So this brilliant prankster decided to dive under America Ferrera’s dress while she was busy taking photographs with Cate Blanchett at the red carpet. Hard to believe, yes I know!  [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Reuters[/caption] [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo:File[/caption] [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1v64ji_cannes-2014-prankster-dives-under-america-ferrera-s-dress_news[/embed] According to Vulture magazine, she said:

“I don’t even know what happened. I felt something behind me and there’s this guy under my dress, and then two guys drag him away!”

“It’s such an honour to receive this award,” said Sediuk on stage.

“I love you Adele”, he added right before Jenny from the block cornered him off.

“He’s lucky I didn’t sucker punch him.”

The judgment has come and there are no surprises in it for anyone. We have all been anticipating this judgement since the trial began. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x28cl0u_pistorius-sentenced-to-five-years-in-prison_news[/embed] A woman was murdered by her celebrity boyfriend; it’s a simple case where the chances of justice being served exist as much as making a ‘Naya Pakistan’. The trial was fun though; it provided all of us the chance to savour the live court drama in the safety of our TV lounge. This live reality show covered the drama featuring Pistorius, a double amputee reliving the scene with his bat, tears rolling down his cheeks as a sign of “negligence” and regret, including convulsions and throwing up in buckets as he pretended to be too sensitive for it all. After serving viewers globally with this emotional ride, the channels worldwide conveniently shifted the debate to Oscar’s career. How long would it take him to resume his career and could he continue practising in the safety of his compound? How easy it becomes to forget and forgive a murder and move on when the murdered being is a woman. Oscar has been charged with culpable homicide and has been served with a five year jail sentence. The murder case has been flashing around TV screens, social media and newspaper for months and became one of the most followed murder trials of history. The five year jail sentence has been dubbed as,

“A balance between retribution and mercy,” it could be relaxed into a house arrest after 10 months and he could get parole after serving half of his prison sentence.

I stepped out of the air conditioned car, onto the street which seemed to have been paved with the heat of hell. In a matter of seconds, my sunglasses began to fog from within and I took them off. It seemed like the sun was a foot away from my head. I squinted and rubbed my eyes for a few seconds before my gaze began adjusting to the burning weather. It was a typical mid-summer afternoon in Karachi, but coming from a breezy city like Toronto, the air was suffocating. I walked straight towards the monstrous wooden doors, guarded by two security guards, and as I had anticipated, they let me in without any questioning. The common Pakistani man always seems to be intimidated by a man in a suit, especially when he steps out of car worth millions of rupees. I knew if I walked the walk correctly, they would hold the doors open for me. I guess some things never change. The open doors led to an open school ground. It was time to clean out the skeletons in my closet. Just as I was exposed to the ground, I sunk in my own wistfulness. A massive wave of nostalgia overcame me and I stood struck by the memories for a few minutes. There, on the left, used to be the sports office, where I would regularly check my name on the board to see if I had made the cricket team or not. On the right used to be the twin canteens which were separated by a fence for boys and girls. I would line up every day with my friends and rush to grab the last piece of foiled beef roll. In the middle of the ground lay the cemented cricket pitch, where I had perfected my skills. The tall white buildings that rose from the ground on either side of the school gave me immense joy. Twenty years ago, they were the last thing I would want to see. But today, after two decades of a mournful divorce from this place, I could not be happier to witness them. Each floor of these buildings had a different tale to tell. The building on the far left was my primary campus. All the pencil picking and address learning had been done there. On the right was my secondary building. That is where I had gone through puberty, and learned what calculus was and wreaked a lot of mischief. Memories came rushing back; the time I had broken the chalk eraser in grade seven, the time I had snuck out of class and bunked my history period, loitering around the water cooler in grade nine. Or the time that I had picked my first and last fight and had broken Mohammad Ali’s nose in grade 10. So many memories of those past wondrous years came flooding in. I was in the center of these memories, the protagonist and the hero. And yet somehow, they felt like folk tales; stories that one tells others for self-amusement. They have no truth to them, just stories that fade away with time. But when I was living them, they were real. They were what I had known to be true. I had created my own food for life, and this is where I got the flavouring from. I saw the cement pitch on the rocky yellow sand with great pride. I walked towards it, like I had done so many times before. Rejoicing a wicket taken by a fellow player, or putting my head down with shame as when we would lose an easy match, my walk towards that pitch had always been remarkable. But today I walked towards it with a different motive. I walked towards it so it may relieve me of my pain. I walked towards it not as a 17-year-old boy who believed that the world was his, but a 37-year-old man who had realised that it was not. I walked towards it with shame, a strong sense of shame that I was unable to fulfil all my promises to it. I walked towards it to seek redemption. Every step I took, I got lost further and further into my mind, drowning in its empty abyss. Finally, I took one step on the rugged gray piece of cement and stepped on to the centre of the pitch, my back towards the secondary building. I hoped what I had come here for would finally pay off, that I would not be disappointed after I turned. I saw my shadow on the ground. It looked ready for the 180 degree spin. And with a twist of my heel, I spun. For a second nothing happened. I looked straight at the wall of the secondary building that stretched on for meters, turning till the far corner and then continuing again, so it made a rather large L shape. For years, the wall of that building served as a boundary for our cricket games. Alongside the wide walls were benches lined up under the shade. Those benches served as a meeting point for our ‘gang’. It was there that we used to gather and plan the rest of the school day. And then it began. My brain finally picked out the memory I had long been savouring. At the east end of the secondary building was a gate that opened into the auditorium, where we would take our O’ level exams. I fondly remember the day I took my final Islamiat exam. I had written a perfect answer and walked straight to the pitch to get away from the tall shade that the secondary building cast upon the ground. The sunlight relaxed my muscles and I felt free under the burning sun. My friends would soon follow me to the centre of the pitch to discuss the exam. One said it was amazing, the other complained about the time constraint. One said he was surely going to flunk it. A lot of conversations had taken place right where I stood now. And suddenly, the voices seemed to diminish as a young girl stepped out from that gate on to the rocky field. Her pencil box clenched between her teeth as she redid her hair in a bun. Her hair band wrapped around her wrist as she fixed the little strands of hair that fell loosely over her forehead. She gave her neck a little jolt and fixed the band on her hair and pulled the pencil box out of her mouth. She asked her friend if her hair looked fine. She then smiled and gave an ecstatic scream about her exam. The gleam in her eye dimmed the scorching sun above me; I could have sworn that nothing could be more perfect than the moment. She took small strides towards the benches and sat down. One of her friends seemed to insist that she had quoted some Hadith wrong, but she had no care of the exam anymore. She was free. She seemed to tell her that she was indifferent and made her realise that summer vacations were finally upon us. Not a moment went by when the mesmerising smile left her face. I could still hear my friend talking, but somehow he was muted. Everything had paused. I had a tunnel vision only of her. That was all I could see. Her, sitting on the white marble bench with her feet crossed – so majestic. Minutes went by and I continued to look at her, not batting an eyelid. I had seen her before, but not like this. This was something I had never felt before. Soon enough her gaze met mine and I felt as if my heart had been electrocuted. My heartbeat increased and I could feel the boneless muscle in my chest skip a beat every time it made the effort of pumping blood into my astonished body. My lips curled into a smile, my cheeks went red but I did not avert my gaze. Her smile turned into amazement. She took up the challenge and continued to stare at me, not knowing what enchantment she was putting me under. Soon she stuck her tongue out and made the most ridiculous face she could make. It was like watching a flowery meadow in spring. I laughed, not at her face, but at how it made me feel. I broke away from my little group and walked towards her. I felt each step I took led me to enlightenment. This was my good fortune I was walking towards, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. When I was in her presence I stopped. She raised an eyebrow, her smile still glued to her face.

“Hi,” I said. “Hi,” She replied. “Hi,” said a teenage boy standing next to me.

“What are we looking at?” he asked.

“Just thinking,” I finally said. “About what?” “About how fast we grow up, but how slow our memories do.”

“Have I seen you somewhere?” he inquired. “I don’t think so.”

“You’re this guy!” he screamed.

“Acting is the ability to live truthfully under the given imaginary circumstances.”

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif was recently put on sale on eBay by one frustrated Pakistani who was sick of all the nuisances cluttering up his life. The move was applauded by many world over but mostly in Pakistan, and it occurred to me that this ‘spring-cleaning’ of our country should continue well beyond the realm of prime ministers that have time and again failed to deliver. Here are ‘for sale’ advertisements for other aspects of Pakistan: 1. The judiciary [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Sindh High Court
Photo: Online[/caption] The corrupt judiciary is only good for long marches and works with a special starter key of either monetary or political clout. The source of entertainment is reliable (even without the key) because the whole thing erupts like a pack of wild animals if disturbed, but be sure to only poke with a long stick or some suitable implement that will keep you at arm’s length because it bites. The product is useless as a guard animal as it’s extremely fickle.  *Starter key not included. 2. Full set of Federal and Provincial Assemblies (*complete attendance not guaranteed) [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Punjab Assembly
Photo: Online[/caption] Here is a special mind blowing offer on all five assemblies. The set has three modes of operation: debates on nonsensical issues, incoherent yelling of foul words in Urdu and every regional language and walkouts. Impossible to select modes at any particular time, but excellent language learning tool for young children (my nephew can now say ‘Wh***’ in Sindhi and Punjabi). It’s not very good for anything else and takes up a lot of closet space. Prayers are an acceptable mode of payment. 3. ‘Dr’Amir Liaqat [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="369"] Sex symbol, Dr Aamir Liaqat Hussain
Photo: Online[/caption] I bought this because the box also contained a really provocative female robot voice, but the voice only knows one sentence and it refuses to flirt with anyone but the good doctor. Hoped that the doctor’s weird clothes would still make a good conversational piece, but he keeps yelling and jumping up and down. Has the tendency to insult people for no good reason. A parrot can do the same, but it’s harder to teach a bird to say “Dr Sahab, ab bas bhi karain” (Doctor, please stop now), with exactly the right inflection. Sexy, female robot voice not sold separately. 4. Cable news [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Politician A accuses Politician B and his party of rampant corruption, mismanagement, theft, coupled with whatever is the soup of the day
Photo: Imaan Shaikh[/caption] Has a knack for emitting a constant stream of frantic yelling and Bollywood music (not sure how that counts as news). My cousin could connect it to a laptop and use some kind of DJ wizardry to combine the music and the yelling into catchy dance beats, but he has moved to Canada now. If you understand how that works then you can have it for all the years of my life that I’m never getting back. 5. The religious right [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Anti-domestic violence law to protect women is un-Islamic, Pakistani advisory group rules
Photo: AFP[/caption] My parents got this to teach us about Islam, morality, tolerance and how to be a good human being, but I think it’s broken because it doesn’t do either of those things. It completely ignores my brother and screeches at me if I so much as move a muscle. Excellent as waste disposal; for example, give it an apple and say “this apple is against Sharia”, then watch it tear the apple apart into a million little pieces. Reason for sale: a paper shredder is less noisy. 6. Morning show hosts [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Morning TV shows are all identical
Photo: File[/caption] This set of 1,000 dolled up women used to be good at keeping irritating viewers occupied, but now they’re giving them far too many stupid ideas (like its okay for an adult to play celebrity guessing games). If you run a mental asylum, you can use it to occupy the patients, since asylum attendants have straitjackets handy if things get too rowdy. 7. Punjab Police [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Those Police officers who were able to reduce waists by two to four inches will be given another chance.
Photo: Online[/caption] This is literally good for nothing. Not one thing. The main reason for selling is that maybe someone else could use it for target practice or to prop up furniture. Willing to exchange for a Doberman or Alsatian. I’d put up more items for sale but once I started digging, the sheer enormity of the dead weight pulling down on our lives broke me. I’ve set everything on fire and am moving to the mountains to live as a hermit. I’ll have Wi-Fi for as long as it takes to sell the above. Let the bidding begin.

It seems like the year 2016 just started a while back, but here we are, just a few days shy from welcoming 2017. A lot happened last year which took us by surprise and shocked us. But even amidst such unpredictability, we were not prepared to see some of the deaths that came our way. Some were lost to old age, some to disease and some to murder. But regardless, they were all taken too soon. Here are some of those names, in no particular order. Peter Vaughan [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="533"] Photo: IMDb[/caption] Even though he had a career spanning 75 years, fans of Game of Thrones (GoT) will relate to his death the most. Maester Aemon Targaryen (his name in GoT) passed away at the age of 93 on December 6^th. The blind Maester had lots of memorable quotes, however one of his most favoured one is,

“What is honour compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms... or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the Gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

“There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.”

“If you're not gonna tell the truth, then why start talking?”

“Well, you better learn how to fight before you start challenging people that you’re gonna whup.”

“His mission of love has tragically been cut short by those who spread hate in the world, and is a great loss for all the divided people of our country.”

“Allahu Akbar. Do not forget Aleppo! Do not forget Syria! We die in Aleppo, you die here!”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” (Mark Twain)

There is no doubt Bollywood superstar Salman Khan has a larger than life persona. Very few people in India are ambivalent about him. They either love, adore, and worship him, or they absolutely detest him. Like every other individual, he is complex and probably has multiple facets to his character. The grapevine is filled with stories of his viciousness and callousness, but at the same time, tales of his generosity and large-heartedness have acquired an almost legendary status. https://twitter.com/RiaRevealed/status/982363460280471552 https://twitter.com/SonuSood/status/982525545660534784 https://twitter.com/ElliAvrRam/status/982511467684446208 Interestingly, all of these aspects are incidental to his acting prowess, which ideally ought to be the most significant yardstick for him, given his profession. In reality, Khan simply plays himself in every movie, and seems to make virtually no effort to create layered and contrasting characters, much unlike his peers. But the fact remains that his movies sell, and they sell well. He has legions of followers who watch his mediocre fare with great relish, just because of his presence. The finer aspects of the craft of filmmaking, such as the story and the performance, are irrelevant to them. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500"] Photo: Giphy[/caption] For this extremely large and vocal group of people, he can do no wrong. Box office success notwithstanding, Khan has had a notorious run over the last two decades. He has rightly been called controversy’s child. In addition to numerous incidents of insensitivity, arrogance and retribution for personal grudges, which one might overlook, he stands accused of several serious offences. There have been allegations of domestic abuse, which should be viewed as an extremely serious offence, and deserves tough punishment. Unfortunately, society in India allows its male idols to get away quite easily with chauvinism. Ironically, Khan’s female fans – a group who should be outraged by such behaviour – either blame the victims of his abuse, or simply reject the allegations. https://twitter.com/sadhavi/status/982532152725254144 https://twitter.com/maurya888/status/982522355137171456 Then there are the hit-and-run charges for which Khan even got convicted in court, only for the conviction to be overturned on appeal. Through all of this, there has been intimidation of witnesses and potential influencing of the outcome of the investigation. Yet Khan, the Teflon coated superstar, has simply gone about his merry ways. Undoubtedly, Khan has worked quite hard to ‘change’ his image, including starting his charity, Being Human. However, behind his charity and generosity, there is the undeniable edge of notoriety. After all, he has boasted of his underworld connections in the past. Furthermore, the frequency with which he courts trouble in itself indicates a propensity for flouting the rules. Quite clearly, the law in India has seemed to be unwilling to hold him accountable. Until now, when out of the blue came his conviction in a 20-year-old poaching case, and Khan found himself in jail, yet again. His fans have gone crazy, to put it mildly. The entire Bollywood fraternity has once again closed ranks around him, deeming the punishment too harsh. Others cannot get over the fact that hundreds of crores are riding on Khan and his various projects and endorsement deals. https://twitter.com/IndiaToday/status/982495846284455936 https://twitter.com/rampalarjun/status/981836877685821445 https://twitter.com/RahulDevRising/status/981953995873882112 However, none of these arguments should matter to the law. If he’s been found guilty of a crime, then he must do the time. Nevertheless, justice in India works in funny ways. For one, after spending two days in jail, he has been granted bail. He was sure to appeal his conviction, and the court has likely granted him bail while his appeal is under consideration. https://twitter.com/CNNnews18/status/982553406689521664 What happens next? Now, Khan will probably bring to bear all his influence – monetary and coercive – to alter the investigation and ensure his appeal gets him a “not guilty” verdict. There are numerous precedents to suggest this is a very likely outcome. If this scenario were to indeed unfold, it would be a terrible travesty of justice. Khan getting away scot-free would encourage millions of impressionable young men to continue to imitate his cavalier behaviour and further diminish the fear of the law. Safe to say, this the last thing India needs. It is important for the courts to stand by this conviction, even in the face of all the pressure that is likely to be put on them. Arguments like financial losses for many producers and threats of suicide by Khan’s demented fans needs to be dealt with in a firm manner. If the Padmaavat controversy has taught India anything, it is that we should not be held hostage to public sentiment, especially when it comes to upholding the law. https://twitter.com/TimesNow/status/982472584800305152 A good example is how Sanjay Dutt’s case was handled. He was given time to complete all his pending projects, but then had to serve out his sentence. This is how this case must be approached as well. It has taken 20 years for the case to reach this stage, and it should not be allowed to meander on for another 20. https://twitter.com/HaramiParindey/status/982525393579266048 For the sake of those whom Khan has tormented, hurt, harmed, or eliminated, let’s hope justice prevails, even if belatedly. A serial offender must be reminded he is not above the law, and he can’t wantonly bulldoze his way past those who get in his way. On a brighter note, maybe, if Khan ends up actually doing his time, he will display some maturity in his acting and make better movies. Now that’s a win-win for everyone!